highlight of last night was laura and i planning to buy a lobster and “set him free” in the lake, not really considering that lobsters live in salt water.

If celery is 90% water, is the ocean 10% celery?

necrosummer:

as a scientist I can confirm that this is definitely how percentages and fractions work, and yes, the ocean is 10% celery, which is why we cannot drink ocean water, for we would choke on the celery

ctrayn:

unsuccessfulmetalbenders:

i am so tired of seeing all of these relatable text posts pasted onto tv show screencaps i need summer to end so some of you dont have the free time to be doing stuff like this anymore

image

thefingerfuckingfemalefury:

cassbones:

awwww-cute:

Everyday he grabs a stick a few feet from the door and carries it for the whole walk

That is not a stick; That’s a fucking branch.

THINK BIG, LITTLE PUPPY

kite117:

And I would have gotten away with it too if it weren’t for you meddling kids and your talking dog

cat-pictures-blog:

The face your kitten makes after you rescue him from an alley downtown.

fruitcrocs:

if you’ve ever stepped on a dog’s foot and didn’t apologise like ur life depended on it please let me know now so i can get a restraining order

digg:

BREAKING: DISNEYLAND NO LONGER HAPPIEST PLACE ON EARTH

  • person: but what if your parents had aborted YOU
  • me: well okay for starters i wouldn't have been forced to hear that stupid ass comment you just made

Me

  • Satan: Hi
  • Me: Ah Satan!
  • Satan: I'm not really Satan.
  • Me: Oh